Sarging when tired.
The title pretty much says its all, that’s exactly how I feel regarding this FR.
I finish my work, walk outside and weather looks good. I am very tired and seriously feel some lack of sleep, but because entire week it’s been rainy and on Saturday I am going on week vacation, I decide to go and approach some girls.
By the time I arrive at park I barely move my legs I look around and find no girls. So I go and sit on the bench. Shortly after I see a girl walking with her bike and she goes to the far away bench. I let he sit, and take her book out, and couple minutes later I go to approach her.
I approach her directly from the front and open her with the question if there any coffee shops in the area, like second cup or starbacks. She says she doesn’t know.
Me: it is student area, there must be something. People need their caffeine and students especially (laughing)
Her: (laughing) yah I know and there probably some in smaller university building, but classes over now and it is all probably closed.
Me: it is 5:30PM only, not even really evening (looking on my watch).
Her: (starting to give few suggestions)
Me: yah I know those places, but was hoping to find something closer by.
Her: (says something I don’t remember)
Me: do you think it still going to rain today? The sky looks so clear
Her: I hope not! I like the weather like it now.
Few more words about weather, and I move conversation to what she is reading about, she says she doesn’t know because she just started to read and only red few first pages, but the author should be very interesting, and she tells me the author biography lol (right there I know she is well red and talking about literature and history and culture will be good idea)
At this stage, I just popped up into the sit and continued to talk about where she is from and what she study (she is in the last year of her political study). I make few jokes that maybe one day she will work for out prime minister or even replace him, she receives it well. I also made some qualifications about her possible future studies when she said she might go study law, to what I said that I always found lawyer women to be well read, confident and well-rounded over all. Joked as well how in USA and Canada for each engineer that graduates there are 10 lawyers that graduate, and how in China is opposite and for each lawyer there are 10 engineers . We both are laughing on the subject.
She asked many question about me and seemed to be interested, but I did not see any other IOI besides maybe making a strong eye contact from her during the conversation.
Eventually after some 17 minutes she asks what the time is, I tell her and she says she needs to go.
Me: listen I really enjoyed talking to you and you seems to be smart person, it doesn’t happens to me often. How do you feel about meeting for coffee and talk and getting to know each other ?
Her: yes, we can go for coffee
I take my phone out and as I am about to give it to her
Her: I actually don’t have mobile phone at all. I will give you an email
Me: (I cannot help and start laughing a lot) you are joking right
Me: (continuing to laugh and looking in phone where the hell the email column in contacts) I don’t even know if it has an email field in contact.
She leaves her email, we say byes.
Some self observations:
Over all I felt that I could do much better.
First of all sarging tired is bad, my energy was so low, that it is not even funny.
My conversation skills really improved in the way how I transition from topic to topic and with her there was not even one awkward silent moment. And she is not the first one in row with whom I had good conversation so it is solid progress there. However; she wanted to talk more, and my previous encounters they all wanted to talk more and open up more, I always end up talking more than them. This needs to be changed.
I still need to loosen up more in the way I talk, and make more jokes and give more energy reach vibe.
Need to work on closing on how to calibrate it better. Closing with this girl was completely of the chart and not congruent, the interaction was not even nearly close to suggest a meet up in such a strong way, it is completely unbalanced. I generally do much better when not tired, but it is for sure area I need to work on more.
I started on developing conversation mapping, I am not really making routines, but just few stories that will implement some attraction and qualification within them and will allow me to lead conversation into topics that I know well. So, this one is in progress as well.